Living better the Nashville way

I went to an all-day seminar last weekend with my friend Maureen and a group of people from my old office. We got a great group price on tickets. As it turns out, some elements of the conference weren’t exactly my cup of tea (like the woman who planted herself in our friend Tanya’s seat during the morning break and refused to budge – we got the last laugh, though, because after lunch the venue moved our group to a VIP suite), but with 9 speakers, I came away with a bucket full of ideas for making life better.

Intentionality (Dave Ramsey)

• You become what you think about. Be intentional about what you think about.
• Decide to change, then change. Set goals that are specific, measurable, have a time limit, are your own, and are in writing.
• You’re not failing if you don’t quit – you’re experimenting. Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.
• When choosing between options, think about where you want to be in 10 years.

Priorities (Christy Wright)

• Spend your time on what’s important to you. Cut out what doesn’t matter, and do more of what you love.
• Be 100% present. If you tend to get caught by social media (who doesn’t?) think about two questions: 1 – is it more important to know what the rest of the world is doing than to experience what I’m doing? 2 – it is more important for the rest of the world to know what I’m doing than for me to experience it myself?
• Say yes to your own priorities, not everyone else’s. For people-pleasers: there’s a difference between doing something to be loving and doing it to be loved.

Gratitude and generosity (Chris Brown)

• You can be resentful or you can be grateful. Gratitude makes you want to give to others.
• You don’t have to feel rich to act rich – the magic number for feeling rich is always double whatever you have. Be generous.
• Gratitude breeds contentment and generosity. Try this: every morning when you wake up, think about two things you’re grateful for. Write them down on a running list.

Money (Rachel Cruze and Chris Hogan)

• Don’t compare yourself to other people. (You’re probably only seeing their highlight reel, anyway.)
• Stay out of debt, have a plan for your money (a budget), and think before you spend. Rachel Cruze recommends the everydollar app for budgeting.
• Save for emergencies, then to have 3-6 months of living expenses, and then for the future.
• Give a little until you can give a lot.
• Talk about money with your partner and your kids, even if it’s uncomfortable.
• Plan for retirement so you don’t have to worry about money.
• Talk about your retirement dreams with your partner. Make the dreams vivid and specific, so you know where you’re going.

Relationships (Les Parrott)

• The four horsemen that ruin relationships are criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling.
• In contrast to the world of work where the “praise sandwich” has a bad reputation – poor performers may not get the message, and be surprised when they lose their jobs – in a personal relationship, wrapping a negative between two positives makes the message go down easier.
• Marriage doesn’t make you happy; you make your marriage happy.

Parenting (Meg Meeker)

• Kids need to know they’re important to their parents. Spend time with them.
• Don’t take teenager behavior personally.
• Model great character – integrity, patience, courage, and perseverance.
• Praise for character, not just for achievements.

Growing up (Anthony O’Neal)

• Be determined to be the best you can.
• Be uncomfortable. Don’t let comfort kill your dreams.
• Mistakes in the past don’t define us, they refine us.

The presenters are headquartered in Nashville, and several of the speakers had that passionate bible-belt presentation style that got the crowd on its feet. They all have books and podcasts. The ones I plan to check out myself are from Christy Wright, Rachel Cruze, Anthony O’Neal, and the star of the show, Dave Ramsey.